My Story

I attended a breakfast this weekend where Shauna Niequist introduced her new book Bittersweet. Along with reading a bit from her book, she also gave a compelling challenge that our stories are what impact people for Christ the most. I walked away feeling really empowered, yet, at the same time, sort of confused.

Over the past few weeks, the services at church have all followed this same theme. The idea that what God is doing in your life is "SO THAT" He will receive all the Glory. It has been challenging...and hard to grasp.

Over the past few days I have really been wrestling over why this idea of sharing my story is difficult for me to do. I have decided that my perspective of stories limits me. I love books, but sequels drive me batty. I love movies, but again, slowly releasing parts of a story drive me nuts! I think the reason for this, and the reason behind my issues with 'my story' is because I like a beginning, a middle, and an end! I have been trained to read for clues and to look at foreshadowing. I love to contemplate and guess the ending of stories before I even know that much about the characters. I have even been known to write down what I think the ending of a story is and hide it away so that when I am dead on, I can go to it and say, "AHHA! I was right! I knew it all along!" Yet, my story, is smack in the middle. I am a constant work in progress. I feel like God has to go back over things with me time and time again- rewriting and editing. No one likes to read the same chapter over and over again, but sometimes that's exactly what I feel is happening with my story.

This week I am beginning round 3 with the exact same health battle I have been facing since 2006. Same story...different doctors...different 'lead characters'...but same exact story.  When I am at my best, I am able to see this as a chance to continue to lean on the Lord. A chance to let God work in my life and in my body and when it is all said and done, I will be a walking miracle. Yet, on my less than perfect days, I am frustrated with the rerun. I have already battled this feeling of helplessness. I have already learned that I have to trust God...and on and on.

Yet, I am drawn to the Word- the perfect beginning in the Garden of Eden, the fall, God sending His Son to die for my sins...and the incredible ending where Christ will return and make all things new again. 2 Corinthians 5:17 says, "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!" This brings me an incredible amount of peace. I am a new creation...despite the reruns, the old has gone and the new is HERE!

I guess what I have taken away from this idea that my story is something to be shared- to use what God is doing, has done, and will do as a testimony of his greatness. My story is a lot like my guesses and predictions of good books- I don't really know the details, but I know where my life is going and I know what the end of my story is, because, I am in Christ....  

Knowing the ending has freed me to share my story, and to listen to other peoples stories...I am a work in progress, but this story is mine to tell and I cannot keep to myself the things that God has done in me and through me.